Artwork by Jo Francis

‘Your baby’s turned around, Carol, and is now coming bum-first. You‘ll have to have a caesarean.’

Oh no! I thought. That can’t be right. Only 12% of first pregnancies end up as caesarean. I don’t want to become a statistic. Besides, it’s bad for the baby; it doesn’t get all the antibodies it needs by not coming down the vagina; it’s more difficult to breastfeed, as the baby doesn’t initiate the birthing process. The poor baby’s comfort and wellbeing, swimming in that beautiful amniotic fluid, will be abruptly interrupted and impact the child’s future development for the worse! All these thoughts raced through my head as I sat across from my Gynaecologist.

I think he guessed my distress as I said nothing for quite a few minutes.

‘Lots of women have very successful caesarean births, Carol.’

‘Right,’ was all I really could think to say. ‘And this being my 39th week of pregnancy, I’m guessing things won’t change?’ I had witnessed many successful caesarean births in my midwifery days, but this was different. I was set on having a normal birth.

‘Carol, you are an elderly primavera. You had IVF to get pregnant. It’s a breech presentation. The safest option is to do a caesarean.’

I knew he was right, but I felt so disappointed, and scared of having the surgery. Also, I wondered how well the baby would bond with me. I was already feeling like a bad mother.

Scared or not, surgery day arrived. Brett and I entered the theatre, me all primed for surgery and Brett donned in his scrubs. I am still very proud of Brett, as he really is very uncomfortable in a hospital environment, but he appeared quite calm and excited at the thought of meeting our baby. And to my great relief everything went well. Before we knew it, our beautiful baby girl Sarah was here. I knew most of the staff there that day, and they gave a great rousing cheer as my daughter came out. I felt a bit like a celebrity, what with all the cheering, high fiving, photos taken, music blaring. It was a rather wonderful experience.

Thirty years later, I have just had lunch with my beautiful healthy, well adjusted, successful daughter, who is busy making her own little human. And should she need a caesarean, what would be my response?

‘Oh, Darling. Lots of women have very healthy, lovely babies, who grow up to be amazing humans, and they started life as caesarean births.’

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The Wrong Order

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Providence or Pure Chance